For the first time in three months the scale took an entire week to move. I weigh in on Thursdays. I actually get on the scale pretty much every day but I only record my weight loss on my ticker and on the calendar on Thursdays. From last week to this the scale would not go down for the life of me. So I decided I had better take a closer look at my calorie intake and again be more diligent and honest with myself about what I am putting into my body. I have been doing that and finally today the scale moved again and I was down 1.6 pounds today. What a relief!
I had a lot of doubt go through my mind as I watch the scale defy me to make a change. I will continue to change and as I do I know my body will become more healthy. I am not destined to be where I am, just because I haven't been smaller than I am in a very long time. I can overcome these challenges and I WILL! To all of my friends who are working so hard to take their lives back-you can do it! When there are days or weeks when it seems like your efforts are in vain-keep going! We are in this together and WE CAN DO IT!
What kind of pep talks do you all give yourselves when the scale won't budge?
Friday, April 30, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Let's Get Real. . .
I have had a hard time putting a blog post together this week. . .hence the reason that I am late getting to it. I have wanted to keep things positive and frankly this week has not been the most positive. I am half way to my goal and kind of stuck here. The scale hasn't moved this week but I have to remind myself of all of the great milestones I have had this past week.
At the beginning of the week I decided to try on the cute little yellow jacket I was wearing when I first met my hubby. I thought it would still be a little too small still but low and behold it was a little on the big side!
Lisa sent me my before and after pictures from January to April. I knew I had made some great progress but I did not even realize the amount of progress I had actually made- wow people aren't making it up when they tell me they can really see a difference in me.
I did a long run this last Saturday down Provo canyon. For the first time I did FIVE miles! My sister was amazed that I ran that far and asked me if I was equally amazed with myself. I really wasn't that impressed with myself until I thought about it. I have never in my life run five miles. No it's not a 10k. . .YET. And, no it's not a half marathon but it is still FIVE miles. I am embracing this as a wonderful milestone for myself.
So. . .sometimes the scale doesn't move. . .but I am coming off of several weeks of tremendous weight-loss and now it's okay that the milestones I am seeing are not on the scale but in other areas.
Don't get me wrong. . .the scale refusing to budge ticks me off! BUT that is not the only milestone for me to celebrate. Thanks to all of you for supporting me and sharing your journeys with me.
What milestones do you all look for when the scale gets stuck?
(I will respond to comments with a comment)
At the beginning of the week I decided to try on the cute little yellow jacket I was wearing when I first met my hubby. I thought it would still be a little too small still but low and behold it was a little on the big side!
Lisa sent me my before and after pictures from January to April. I knew I had made some great progress but I did not even realize the amount of progress I had actually made- wow people aren't making it up when they tell me they can really see a difference in me.
I did a long run this last Saturday down Provo canyon. For the first time I did FIVE miles! My sister was amazed that I ran that far and asked me if I was equally amazed with myself. I really wasn't that impressed with myself until I thought about it. I have never in my life run five miles. No it's not a 10k. . .YET. And, no it's not a half marathon but it is still FIVE miles. I am embracing this as a wonderful milestone for myself.
So. . .sometimes the scale doesn't move. . .but I am coming off of several weeks of tremendous weight-loss and now it's okay that the milestones I am seeing are not on the scale but in other areas.
Don't get me wrong. . .the scale refusing to budge ticks me off! BUT that is not the only milestone for me to celebrate. Thanks to all of you for supporting me and sharing your journeys with me.
What milestones do you all look for when the scale gets stuck?
(I will respond to comments with a comment)
Monday, April 19, 2010
My name is Teresa and I’m NOT an alcoholic, but I AM an addict.
It was April 2009. My back was getting much better and in March I had ventured out into the garden. Once again I pushed a little too hard and this time it only took about two weeks to heal. I guess I wasn’t as strong as I thought I was.
I encountered a talk by Robert D. Hales. In the beginning he announced he was speaking to a specific group. He started off with, “Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past.” I thought, “Boy I know some people like that! It’s sad when people make big mistakes in their lives and have to pay for them for a long time.”
He goes on to say, “I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt. . .” (I know people who have struggled with that for years! I’m sure glad that I have learned to live within my financial means.)
“. . . and addictions . . .” (“Now that is the WORST!” I’m thinking. “People lose all control of their choices and how they want to live their lives when they give in to their addictions, I can tell he’s going to list the worst ones next to illustrate how difficult it is to be happy when you’re addicted to something.”)
“. . . to food . . .” I don’t even really hear the rest of the talk. I can’t believe that of all the vices people use and become addicted to the first one he listed was FOOD! He is talking to ME! I was on my high horse about the great choices I have made in my life and here I sit, ADDICTED! To FOOD! And thousands of people have just heard on television that being addicted, even to food, can make your life miserable!
I finally admitted to myself that I am addicted to food. I have been using food to stuff my feelings and quench an unquenchable emotional thirst. I’ll tell you how I recognized addiction in myself. I used to be embarrassed about the things that showed me that I have a problem, but now I recognize them as the signs that pointed me in the right direction.
First, when I would eat, even if the food was mediocre, I would still eat until my stomach hurt and I was miserable afterward. If the food was exceptional, I would eat even past the misery.
Another sign I learned to recognize was that I would eat unconsciously unless I felt that someone else was conscious of how much I was eating. Then instead of changing what I was eating I would just be self conscious and try (in vain) to hide my eating, or make it look like I wasn’t eating as much as I did.
Even if I was trying to be conscious of my eating and went to a party, I would be thinking more about the treats on the table than the conversation with friends. The food would call to me; I would know in a glance how many of my favorite treats were left on the table. The conversation with friends was secondary to the debate about food going on in my head.
After I admitted to myself that I had a problem and started eating consciously, I heard the food calling me. I didn’t need more nutrition or nourishment, but it still called. I turned inward and asked myself why I wanted food. I felt something I had not felt before:
I was lonely. I had denied myself access to excess or unhealthy food, which had become one of my best “friends”, one who would comfort me when I was down; one who was always there for me.
I had self-doubt. I was afraid of the other feelings that would come to the surface if I stopped using food to stuff the feelings away.
I was afraid. Afraid I would again turn to this dangerous and hurtful “friend”.
All of these thoughts and feelings told me I am addicted and MUST do something about it. Recognizing the problem is half the battle! Now I use food to fuel my body and not as a substance to squelch my emotions or for any other reason. It sounds like a simple change of mind and heart but believe me it is a daily battle. Finally I am winning.
What about you? What signs of food addiction have you seen in your life? And what have you done to overcome that addiction?
I encountered a talk by Robert D. Hales. In the beginning he announced he was speaking to a specific group. He started off with, “Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past.” I thought, “Boy I know some people like that! It’s sad when people make big mistakes in their lives and have to pay for them for a long time.”
He goes on to say, “I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt. . .” (I know people who have struggled with that for years! I’m sure glad that I have learned to live within my financial means.)
“. . . and addictions . . .” (“Now that is the WORST!” I’m thinking. “People lose all control of their choices and how they want to live their lives when they give in to their addictions, I can tell he’s going to list the worst ones next to illustrate how difficult it is to be happy when you’re addicted to something.”)
“. . . to food . . .” I don’t even really hear the rest of the talk. I can’t believe that of all the vices people use and become addicted to the first one he listed was FOOD! He is talking to ME! I was on my high horse about the great choices I have made in my life and here I sit, ADDICTED! To FOOD! And thousands of people have just heard on television that being addicted, even to food, can make your life miserable!
I finally admitted to myself that I am addicted to food. I have been using food to stuff my feelings and quench an unquenchable emotional thirst. I’ll tell you how I recognized addiction in myself. I used to be embarrassed about the things that showed me that I have a problem, but now I recognize them as the signs that pointed me in the right direction.
First, when I would eat, even if the food was mediocre, I would still eat until my stomach hurt and I was miserable afterward. If the food was exceptional, I would eat even past the misery.
Another sign I learned to recognize was that I would eat unconsciously unless I felt that someone else was conscious of how much I was eating. Then instead of changing what I was eating I would just be self conscious and try (in vain) to hide my eating, or make it look like I wasn’t eating as much as I did.
Even if I was trying to be conscious of my eating and went to a party, I would be thinking more about the treats on the table than the conversation with friends. The food would call to me; I would know in a glance how many of my favorite treats were left on the table. The conversation with friends was secondary to the debate about food going on in my head.
After I admitted to myself that I had a problem and started eating consciously, I heard the food calling me. I didn’t need more nutrition or nourishment, but it still called. I turned inward and asked myself why I wanted food. I felt something I had not felt before:
I was lonely. I had denied myself access to excess or unhealthy food, which had become one of my best “friends”, one who would comfort me when I was down; one who was always there for me.
I had self-doubt. I was afraid of the other feelings that would come to the surface if I stopped using food to stuff the feelings away.
I was afraid. Afraid I would again turn to this dangerous and hurtful “friend”.
All of these thoughts and feelings told me I am addicted and MUST do something about it. Recognizing the problem is half the battle! Now I use food to fuel my body and not as a substance to squelch my emotions or for any other reason. It sounds like a simple change of mind and heart but believe me it is a daily battle. Finally I am winning.
What about you? What signs of food addiction have you seen in your life? And what have you done to overcome that addiction?
Sunday, April 11, 2010
My Story
In September of 2008 my little family, Hubby, Bug and I went to Disneyland! The trip was my birthday gift and reward for having lost about 35 pounds. We had a wonderful time together! After riding the Indiana Jones ride I could tell that my already weak lower back was not very happy, but we were at the happiest place on earth, so onward we would go, walking and riding rides. It was bearable until the 10 hour car ride home. Two days after we arrived home I could not walk. I spent six weeks lying on the floor in extreme pain, only leaving home to go to doctor and physical therapy appointments.
A decision had to be made, surgery or no surgery. One doctor said that surgery was necessary but due to my weight he would not perform the surgery and suggested bariatric surgery instead. Between the physical pain, the emotional distress of not being able to care for my three-year-old Bug, and the depression setting in I had to make a serious decision.
I prayed for strength! I told the Lord that I needed His help to make this change happen. I promised him that if I could have just one more chance to be healthy enough to take care of my body that I would do it. I needed to make huge changes in my life. I had tried before and failed. I would not be able to do it this time without help. I needed everybody in my life to help me and I have received all the support I could have imagined and more.
I got up the next morning and I walked to the flag pole about 100 feet from our front door. I could barely make it back to the floor mat I had called home for the previous six weeks. I did it again later in the day. In a couple of days I could walk the 50 yards to the mailbox. I was still in pain but a few days later I walked all the way around the block. Okay so I actually had to stop and lie down at a friend’s house half way around the block. I became familiar with the floor almost everywhere I went. Even if I had to lie down I would go as far as I could, rest, and get myself back home before I thought I had gone too far and wouldn’t be able to make it home.
It has been quite some time since then, but those days will never be forgotten, by me or my little family; Hubby who had to take care of everything I couldn’t and Bug who had to take care of herself when Mom couldn’t.
Yesterday I ran four miles! I RAN! FOUR MILES! Many lights have gone on to help me change my life since those days in Disneyland. I hope that sharing them will inspire someone, even if that only someone is me. Here’s to many more life changes and many more lights shining!
A decision had to be made, surgery or no surgery. One doctor said that surgery was necessary but due to my weight he would not perform the surgery and suggested bariatric surgery instead. Between the physical pain, the emotional distress of not being able to care for my three-year-old Bug, and the depression setting in I had to make a serious decision.
I prayed for strength! I told the Lord that I needed His help to make this change happen. I promised him that if I could have just one more chance to be healthy enough to take care of my body that I would do it. I needed to make huge changes in my life. I had tried before and failed. I would not be able to do it this time without help. I needed everybody in my life to help me and I have received all the support I could have imagined and more.
I got up the next morning and I walked to the flag pole about 100 feet from our front door. I could barely make it back to the floor mat I had called home for the previous six weeks. I did it again later in the day. In a couple of days I could walk the 50 yards to the mailbox. I was still in pain but a few days later I walked all the way around the block. Okay so I actually had to stop and lie down at a friend’s house half way around the block. I became familiar with the floor almost everywhere I went. Even if I had to lie down I would go as far as I could, rest, and get myself back home before I thought I had gone too far and wouldn’t be able to make it home.
It has been quite some time since then, but those days will never be forgotten, by me or my little family; Hubby who had to take care of everything I couldn’t and Bug who had to take care of herself when Mom couldn’t.
Yesterday I ran four miles! I RAN! FOUR MILES! Many lights have gone on to help me change my life since those days in Disneyland. I hope that sharing them will inspire someone, even if that only someone is me. Here’s to many more life changes and many more lights shining!
I'm waking up!
The other day I was awakened by an extremely bright light. I fought it! I pulled the covers over my head and pretended it wasn’t on. I even told myself I could pretend I didn’t know it was on. Finally when the radio announcer’s voice started describing the weather, traffic and daily news I knew it was times to get up! I peeled back the covers and squinted-the light seemed so bright! I went to the next room, still squinting until I was in the darkness, only slightly influenced by the bright light in the other room.
I approached the light feeling like I could now bare it. I was proud that I was now comfortable with the extreme brightness of the light. I walked to the switch only to realize the dimmer was turned all the way down to the dimmest setting.
So the light was on- not very bright- but the light was on.
This is how I view my journey to health. Sometimes the light seems bright, or health information I receive seems difficult, but as I get used to it I realize it is just the beginning of the brightening of my life.
I will share in this blog the moments in my journey to health when “the light went on.” The light continues to get brighter and when it brightens I will share that light with you. Let’s share here our triumphs, struggles, set-backs and successes.
I approached the light feeling like I could now bare it. I was proud that I was now comfortable with the extreme brightness of the light. I walked to the switch only to realize the dimmer was turned all the way down to the dimmest setting.
So the light was on- not very bright- but the light was on.
This is how I view my journey to health. Sometimes the light seems bright, or health information I receive seems difficult, but as I get used to it I realize it is just the beginning of the brightening of my life.
I will share in this blog the moments in my journey to health when “the light went on.” The light continues to get brighter and when it brightens I will share that light with you. Let’s share here our triumphs, struggles, set-backs and successes.
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